immunity and insanity

This afternoon Lars and I decided to take the girls to the outlet mall in Lincoln City. Before we could even get IN the car we had to chase Heidi down and force her into some clothing. Then Emilia had a rat's nest in her hair so big I was almost a little reluctant to brush it out...just because she was probably setting some sort of record with it's sheer mass of matted goodness. After a half hour drive in the car, circling the parking lot with no empty spaces to be found, a melt down screaming fit from Emilia, and running through the pouring rain we finally got into the store. Two minutes later, Emilia started doing the potty dance. Because I'm so nice and compassionate, I refused to take her on sheer principle. (How many times did I tell the girls to use the bathroom before we left?!)

Finally I took Emilia, Heidi and Naomi into the bathroom. Naomi went into one stall and I brought Heidi and Emilia into the next stall over. I put Heidi down, wiped off the toilet seat, lined it with toilet paper and tried to help E up onto the potty. By this time her potty dance had escalated into nothing short of theatrical, yet she refused to get onto the toilet. I finally figured out she has a deathly fear of the auto-flusher and she wanted me to cover it with my hand the entire time she was sitting on the toilet. So I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and covered the sensor with one hand and lifted her onto the toilet with the other.

Heidi didn't find too much entertainment standing in the corner of a bathroom stall getting reprimanded any time she tried to move or touch something. It didn't take long until she'd had enough and flopped face first onto the bathroom floor. Horrified, I tried to control my dry heaving, pick up Heidi's flailing body off the disgusting floor and keep the auto sensor covered so it didn't freak Emilia out, causing her to jump off the toilet "mid-stream". (I speak from experience.) Of course at that same moment, Naomi called for help from the other stall.

I somehow got Heidi back on her feet and she immediately stuck both her hands in her mouth. (Dry heave) E finished and I let the toilet flush. E heard it and commented, "Oh, that's a quiet flush. That wasn't scary at all!" Really?! Then I decided since we were all there, I may as well use the facilities myself. As I sat with my pants around my ankles Emilia decided she didn't want to be in there one second longer and opened the door. Wide open. To the line of waiting shoppers.

I thought I had lost my dignity long ago. But I guess it's REALLY gone now. :)