Toothfairy FAIL...again

Well now it's just getting ridiculous.  I forgot to be the Tooth Fairy AGAIN!  I was about to debunk the whole myth this morning, just to absolve myself of the guilt, but then i realized Heidi hasn't even lost ONE tooth yet and that wouldn't be very fair to her to crap out on tradition, just because I can't remember to follow through with it.  (Good reasoning right?)  Anyway, Emilia asked if she could write the Tooth Fairy an email this morning.  It was the least I could do.

dear toothfaiy why don't you give me dollers my frend's git dollers and why didint you come lastnight what is your name and what do you look like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love emilia

Well, I guess since I'm lying to her anyway about the existence of a Tooth Fairy, I won't give her the straight answers to her questions, otherwise it would read something like this...

Dear Emilia,
I don't give you dollars even if your friends get dollars because I'm already paying for the care and maintenance of your teeth.  YOU should be giving ME dollars.  I didn't come last night because I am so ridiculously busy with being a wife, mom, student, employee that remembering to switch out a tooth for a quarter is about #796 on my list of things to do.  My name is Mom and I look like a very tired mid thirties woman with brown hair.  Magical, isn't it?

Love,
The Tooth Fairy aka: your Mother who has been lying to you for the first eight years of your existence

An honest conversation

This was the Google chat conversation I had with my parents as I was telling them about hanging up my photo exhibit. This is a priceless gem :)

me

6:03 PM

i just put it up...and it literally all fell down. so i put it up again today

---

Gary Fagersten

6:03 PM

what do you mean it fell down?

---

me

6:04 PM

i mean, it fell off the wall and onto the floor.  i used SUPER sticky tabs, guaranteed to hold 1 lb per square sticky

apparently my pictures were very heavy?

---

Gary Fagersten

6:04 PM

why those dirty cheats, I'd get my money back

---

me

6:04 PM

i would, but i stole them from the art office

---

Gary Fagersten

6:04 PM

why you dirty cheat

---

me

6:04 PM

i'd have to pay THEM!

---

Gary Fagersten

6:05 PM

you deserve to have them fall down

---

me

6:05 PM

that's probably true

---

Gary Fagersten

6:05 PM

just staple the pictures up

---

me

6:05 PM

classy.

---

Gary Fagersten

6:05 PM

where's my magic marker. I'm going to draw mustaches on them

---

me

6:06 PM

you are officially UNinvited

consider this your UNvitation

---

Gary Fagersten

6:07 PM

where is your show?

---

me

6:07 PM

i'm not telling

---

Gary Fagersten

6:07 PM

well, I'll find out. . .you just wait

 

Valuables

Leah will be horribly embarrassed one day when she decides to scroll through all my past blog posts and comes across this one.  So, sorry daughter in the future, but this one is just TOO good to pass up.

Leah and I were sitting in the car and I looked over at her only to discover her with her hand down her shirt.  "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I found a dime and I'm tucking it in my bra.  That's where I keep all my valuables."
"Ah...so that's what they're calling 'em these days."
"What?!  Mom!  Oh my gosh." 

The next morning before school I said to Leah, "Make sure and put a bra on.  You've got to keep those valuables covered."  She rolled her eyes and turned six shades of red.  Awesome. :)

Old. Just Old.

This is a picture of me.  ME, I tell you!

Reasons I feel really old this school year.

1. The kid I work with tells me every day I'm as old as the Crypt Keeper.  (Shut up Nick!  I'm just kidding.  No you're not.  OK, I'm not.)
2. Students are submitting applications with their birth dates on them that are the same years as my high school career. 
3. I'm taking a 200 level communication class that is generally taken by freshmen, and it is VERY obvious that I'm not following the fashion trends of hoop earrings, off the shoulder sweatshirts, and stretch pants with high tops.  (Sorry folks, I did that in the 80's.  Yes, the FIRST time it was popular.) 
4. I referenced a quote from "Top Gun" which came out in 1986.  I was attempting to prove my youth by saying, "Ha!  I was only seven when that movie came out!"  But before those validating words could escape my lips, my counterpart said, "Ha!  I wasn't even BORN then!"  Fail. 
5. My girls keep asking me to tell them stories from the "olden days, you know...when you used chalk boards at school."
6. I got dressed up for my artist reception and one of my fellow classmates said, "Wow!  You look really pretty when you're not wearing 'Mom Jeans'."  I'm sorry...do you REALLY know what 'Mom Jeans' are?  Because you probably weren't born when this SNL skit came out.  http://www.hulu.com/watch/10333
7. My youngest daughter is starting kindergarten.  Most of the other moms are dropping off their first child.
8. My oldest daughter is in MIDDLE SCHOOL!  How did that even happen?  

Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies

 

I work in the art office on campus and things are picking up with school starting Monday.  It was an 'everyday feels like Friday' week!  So to celebrate it actually being Friday, I wanted to bring cookies in for everyone.  One of the staff is allergic to wheat and dairy so I came up with a recipe for peanut butter cookies that worked around those limitations.  And the good news is, they were good enough that the "regular" folk didn't notice anything was missing.  :)  

 

Flour-less Peanut Butter Cookies

1 c crunchy peanut butter

1/2 c brown sugar

1 egg

1/2 t salt

1/4 c (not) butter

1 c oat flour

Mix well.  Drop onto a pan, criss-cross with a fork and bake for 8 minutes at 350 degrees.

Note: If you use all natural sugar free peanut butter, you may want to leave out the (not) butter and increase the sugar to a full cup.

my FIRST gallery exhibit

Today, with the help of my husband, I will be hanging my first photo show.  It's in the gallery on the Oregon State University campus where I'm attending school.  I'm  not going to lie, I'm a little nervous.  Not because I hope people will like it...I actually don't care about that. :)  That's just part of creating art.  Some people will respond positively to it, some people won't.  I think it's more because it's a bit of an abstract concept and I'm nervous about it making sense to someone besides me.  That sounded conceited.  It's not that I think I'm super smart...I worry because I'm super random. 

Anyway...I'll take some pictures when it's up and at the reception.  I mean, if I'm going to do something that makes me uncomfortable, I may as well turn it into a party right?  Come party with me on TUESDAY October 1st.  I'll even make some cookies.

Homelessness and Charity

There are a lot of homeless people living in and around Newport.  This also means that at many of the street corners one will encounter a person or two standing with a sign asking for a variety of things. 

Last week I drove to pick up the girls from school.  As I went through the intersection I noticed a woman sitting in a wheel chair holding a sign that said, "Cat food" and a man standing with her holding a sign that said, "An act of kindness anyone?".  Well, I didn't have any cat food but I did have an act of kindness, so I said a prayer for the couple (I'm sure that's what they wanted) and continued on my way. 

Ten minutes later after I had picked up the girls, I was driving back home and I saw the same couple on the corner...with the man sitting in the wheel chair and the woman standing behind him.  Hmmm....

This past week our lesson in church was about having Charity.  The topic of how we treat the homeless people came up.  How do we know who sincerely needs help and who is just trying to get something for nothing.  The consensus was to follow the Spirit and let the Lord guide you. 

Later that week as I was leaving the Wal-Mart parking lot (a hot spot for someone with a sign) there was a kid standing there today.  He couldn't have been older than 20 and he was holding a sign that said, "homeless, hungry, hopeless.  anything helps".  The "hopeless" part struck a chord in my heart because I know what a dark place it is to be in.  I never have cash, so I looked around my car and pulled out a box of graham crackers I had just bought.  I opened my door and handed it to him and asked if that would help.  He said with a wavering voice, "Oh thank you!  You have no idea!" 

At that moment I was overwhelmed with love for this kid.  I said, "God bless you." and I really meant it and I felt the love that my Heavenly Father had for this young man.  Although he was on a street corner begging for help, he was still one of God's children.  We are reminded in Mosiah 4:19 and 21 in the Book of Mormon "For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have? ...And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another."
http://lds.org/scriptures/bofm/mosiah/4?lang=eng

1 Corinthians 13:3

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

I guess that's what charity is.  It was nice to feel...even if it was only for a minute :)

Who needs a rooster?

Who needs a rooster when you have these guys squawking outside your window?! 

Peanut Butter Choc-Oat-Chip Cookies

I think these are my new favorite cookies.  All good things rolled into one!  Naomi loved helping make this recipe up.  She listed all of her favorite cookies and we crammed them into one recipe. :)  Naturally she also came up with the name for them.

Peanut Butter Choc-Oat-Chip Cookies

1 c butter
1 c peanut butter
1 c white sugar
1 c brown sugar
3 eggs
1/2 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
2 1/2 c flour
2 c oats
2 c semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Mix together butter and peanut butter until fluffy.  Add in sugars and mix again.  Add eggs, baking powder and baking soda and salt.  Mix well.  Add flour and mix.  Add oats and mix.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Bake for 10 minutes.  Let cool on pan for a few minutes before moving to a wire rack to finish cooling.

Now give most of them away so you don't eat them for breakfast.  I have it on good authority this happens...often. 

A little bit like my Dad

 Last night as my sweet family was riding our bikes home from the elementary school's annual potluck, I started channeling my Dad. 

Nearly every Sunday of my childhood, if my parents drove separate cars to church, we could expect a road race on the way home.  As we would drive away from church my mom would turn right and my dad would keep driving straight.  That was the unspoken signal for, "The race is ON!"  My siblings and I would scream and yell in the backseat for my dad to drive faster, hurry up, turn here, go go GO!  The rest of my siblings that were riding with my mom would be doing the same thing in the other car.  Mind you, both of my parents were raised in New Jersey, and thirty years after moving away from there, my dad still continues to drive like he is cruising down crowded highways, weaving in and out of traffic, honking the horn and speeding through yellow (red) lights.  Yes indeed, two cars driven by nicely dressed adults, could be seen squealing down quiet residential streets at 45 mph in a mad race to be first in our driveway on west sixth street.

So Lars was riding in the front with Leah and Emilia.  I was pulling up the rear with Heidi in the trailer behind my bike and Naomi beside me.  At the corner a few blocks from home, my Father's DNA started racing through my veins and I yelled, "Beat you home!" I turned down a side street and took off with Heidi squealing in the trailer and Naomi shouting, "Wait, I can't keep up!"  We booked it and when I pulled into the driveway triumphantly ahead of everyone else, Naomi was still a good block behind me.

"Victory!" I yelled as Naomi came panting up behind me, closely followed by Leah.  Soon Lars rode in with a tearful Emilia.  "What took ya so long?" I gloated.  "Uh, I didn't race off and leave my kid behind me in the dust" he answered.  (Always so practical, that one.)  "No mercy!" I joked.  "I guess we play by different rules" he said.  "Well then, I guess I'll always win." ;)  I can't help it.  I am half my Dad, after all.

Pumping Iron

I finally got up the nerve to go to the rec. center and learn the weight room.  It's not like I've never lifted weights before, it's more that the OSU football, basketball, soccer, baseball, track, and gymnastics teams all use the weight room here...and I am a little intimidated!  There are still a few weeks until school starts up so I figured there would most likely be fewer people there now, meaning a smaller audience to my ignorance. 

As I walked in, I surveyed the area and spotted a little old woman using the circuit training machines.  Using the pictures on the machines and my best guess, I made my way around several of them ending up next to this sweet little lady.  This was a machine I was unfamiliar with, so I leaned over and whispered, "Do you know how this machine works?"  She put her hand to her ear.  The universal signal for, "What's that deary??  Speak up.  Granny can't hear you."  I repeated my question a little bit louder.  Again, she put her hand to her ear and said, "What?".  I asked again...a bit louder.  She said, "What?" again.  Finally the fourth time I practically shouted, "DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS MACHINE WORKS?" At last she heard me...along with everyone else in the weight room, the rec. center and a twelve mile radius.  

She smiled at me, shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I don't know!  I've never used it before.  Just try to look confident!"  I smiled back and said, "That's what I'm trying to do, but the machine keeps making weird noises!"  She laughed and said, "Well, I'm deaf...so it doesn't bother me!!"

Apparently confidence increases as your hearing decreases.  Good to know.

Road Kill Bingo

We are about to embark on a road trip from Oregon to Iowa.
Thanks to the modern invention of the car, this should only take 28 hours (not including bathroom breaks, eating, sleeping or getting out of the car on the side of the road so you can breathe and count to ten, or one hundred, before you lose your mind.)  Naturally I started thinking of what on earth we could possibly do in the car so we still like each other by the time we get there.  I visited a few blogs that  gave great ideas if you wanted to spend as much time prepping games for the trip as it would take to get there.  I decided to just go back to my great idea that I've had forever, but have never brought into fruition.  Road Kill Bingo.  Oh yeah.

I told the girls what I was making.  Heidi, who is four, looked very confused and concerned.  "You mean, we are going to try to run those animals over with the car?!"  Haha!  No, we are just looking for them on the side of the road, and if we see them, we check it off.  Then Naomi piped up, "Why don't we just play 'Animal Bingo' and look for living animals while we are driving.  That would be much less violent and gross."  There always has to be a voice of reason...  

Myth Buster

One really funny thing about having kids is hearing that all of the same jokes, songs and urban legends from my childhood are STILL circulating the elementary schools today.  My daughters are always flabbergasted when I know the punchline to their jokes, start singing along with a song they "just learned" or debunk the mysteries of life that a very reputable nine year old just shared with them.

We were out in the yard planting when a daddy long leg crawled by.  My eleven year old warned her sisters, "You know...daddy long legs are the most poisonous spider in the world.  Their mouths are just too small to bite humans."  Sisters were impressed with her vast knowledge and their not so healthy fear of spiders was heightened.  I heard and repeated this "fact" my entire childhood as well.  It sounded plausible, I mean, they DO have small mouths after all.  I finally decided to get the truth!

I am here to debunk this theory.  Daddy Long Leg spiders are NOT poisonous, at all.  They do not have venom or fangs making it not just unlikely, but IMPOSSIBLE for this myth to be true.
http://spiders.ucr.edu/daddylonglegs.html

I'm sorry to ruin a life long belief for most people.  Watch out because next I'm going to be telling you that you will NOT, in fact, find a whale with a polka dot tale "Down by the Bay."

Blueberries!!

This recipe is VERY loosely based off a cobbler recipe I found.  I changed it so much it's really not even the same thing, so I'm claiming it as my own. :)  p.s.  I took the picture and made the food in it.

Blueberry Coffee Cake

2 1/2 c flour
1 c sugar
1/2 t salt
1 T baking powder
zest of 1 lemon
1 c milk
2/3 c butter, melted

2/3 c brown sugar (less is fine)
2 t REAL vanilla extract*
2 T water
juice of 1 lemon
4 c fresh blueberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix flour, 1 c sugar, salt, baking powder and lemon zest together in a bowl.  Add in milk and butter, stirring to combine.

Generously grease a 9x13 baking dish.

Spread batter into baking dish. 

In a saucepan, combine brown sugar, water, vanilla and lemon.  Mix.  Stir in blueberries.  On the stove top, cook over medium heat JUST until sugar is dissolved.   

Pour blueberries and syrup over batter in the baking dish.

Bake at 350 for 50 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Delicious warm out of the oven!  Dessert or breakfast :)

*If you have a really expensive bottle of vanilla tucked in the back of your cupboard that you've been saving for a special recipe...this is it! 

July the 4th

Every year my opinion is confirmed, I just have the best birth-day ever.  July 4th is always buzzing with excitement and activities, not to mention parades and fireworks!

                        (me.  seriously contemplating how fun my birthday is...with my party hat on)

This year we decided to stick with tradition and head north to Monmouth where we used to live for their small town parade and festivities.  We sat with our good friends and laughed at the horrible excuse for a parade that traveled in front of us.  Heidi also kept us entertained with her antics.

                                               "Look Mom!  That horse is wearing leg warmers!"

"Hey Mom!  That Ass...Astro...That guy gave me candy!"

 Our favorite "float" was a truck pulling a flat bed full of hay bales, arranged so people could sit on them; only, there were no people sitting on them.  It was completely unmarked and didn't seem to be promoting any specific business or cause. We concluded it must be promoting Alzheimer's awareness and they all just forgot to show up. :)

After the parade we headed over to the main street park where there are crafts for the kids, food, booths etc.  The girls all had an opportunity to do a bit of screen printing and painting.

About three o'clock we headed back home.  I took a beauty rest (because I foolishly agreed to sleep in the tent again the night before) then had dinner, opened presents and went to fireworks. 

It was a lovely, lovely day!

Roughing it

Friday night the girls begged to set up the tent in our yard.  (No, this is not my tent, or my yard.)  It was a beautiful night and I didn't have anything commitments on Saturday, so I said why not.  We all threw our blankets and pillows in there and had a great time making crazing faces with the flashlight, reading books, Heidi even told us a silly ghost story.  As it happens any time you get a group of girls together and they have stayed up much past their prime, things got really silly and the giggled continued to crescendo until 11 pm when I finally had to threaten them with a, "The next person who makes a SOUND is going inside and I'm. not.joking."  There was immediate silence and they were all asleep in ten seconds flat.

Last night, the girls asked if we could sleep in the tent again.  Why not?  Only difference was I had to be up for work at 7am and I didn't have a clock with me. (Yes I still live in the dark ages and No I don't own a cell phone.)  The girls fell asleep rather quickly and I laid there wondering if I was a man and didn't have hips, if camping would ever actually be comfortable.  I'm not so sure.  Leah and Emilia were sleep yelling at each other.  Entertaining, but not restful.

Eventually I fell asleep but I kept dreaming that I overslept and missed half a day of work.  Then in my dream I would wake up and tell someone about the dream and go back to sleep (in my dream).  This happened three times before I finally just got up, really confused if I was actually getting up, or if I was still dreaming that I was getting up.  Heidi was happy to finally have all of my blanket that she had been fighting me for the whole night. When I came inside it was only 6 o'clock.  I knew if I went to my real bed there was no way I would get up again by seven, so I decided to go for a "run."  I hadn't even finished tying my shoes before my body was reminding me that I hated running and this was the worst idea ever...except for sleeping in the tent in the first place.  I went anyway.  I didn't pass out, so that's good news.  I have a feeling as long as I leave the tent up I'm going to be bombarded with requests to sleep in it every night.  Either we need a good old fashioned ghost story freak out, or some strategically planted spiders to disenchant those girls from sleeping in the tent.  This could be fun.  :)

I don't wanna grow up!

Lars had his birthday on the 18th.  The girls picked out a set of Nerf guns for his present.  (Back story: Any time we go to a store, Lars will peruse the toy aisle and make the comment, "They never had toys like this when I was a kid!")  This was, hands down, the favorite family gift.  As soon as they were out of the box, Leah grabbed one Nerf gun and Lars grabbed the other.  Leah immediately started trying to shoot at Lars and Lars immediately dove into a sermon about Nerf gun safety, including first and fore most, never aim at someone's face.  In the next second, a Nerf dart came whizzing across the room and hit Lars directly in the eye!

Leah fell all over herself apologizing, "Sorry Dad!  I was aiming for your chest!"  I fell all over myself laughing.  Lars immediately instituted a "No Nerf guns without safety glasses" policy.  (Which is hilarious if you know ANYTHING about Lars as a child!)  The rest of the day little girls in sunglasses (because who actually owns safety glasses?) were running around my house shooting Nerf guns at each other.

Best. Present. Ever. 

NAOMI

While I vividly remember giving birth to this child, I often wonder if she's actually mine.  People say she looks like me, but the similarities end there.  Naomi likes order, predictability, repetition.  As her birthday approached this year I asked her what she wanted to do for a party etc.  Naomi handed me a piece of paper divided neatly into categories, Food, Games, Guests and it even included a mock up design of her birthday party invitation.  She wanted her party on the 1st, because that's the date it was on last year, and she informed me, the date her party will be on EVERY year until she dies.  For dinner she requested her favorite meal, Sloppy Joes, because that's what we had last year and that's what she wants EVERY year for dinner on her birthday until she dies.

Yesterday Naomi approached me and said, "I think you chose a very appropriate name for me.  NAOMI.  Almost every letter is symmetrical.

That about sums it up folks!

Negotiation

My current photography assignment is a self portrait.  It's difficult.  Not just the context, but physically taking a picture of myself with a 35mm film camera.  I had an idea, set up the camera on a tri-pod, set up the lighting, attached the shutter release cord and then realized the cord was only about 8 inches long.
Help!
So I snagged Heidi off the couch and asked her to come help me.  All she had to do was press the button.  Well, she whimpered, and whined, and complained that it was going to be boring.  I tried to bribe her with fruit snacks, crackers with the nasty cheesy spread.  Nothing.  Finally I offered five pennies.  Her little ears perked up.  She looked at me, realized she had the upper hand and said, "Fine.  But I want ten more."  Fifteen pennies it is.
Heidi pushed the button 36 times at my command.  I thanked her and sent her off on her way.  Before she left the room, Heidi turned to me and said, "Actually, I really wanted a dollar."
I gave her 15 pennies and I'm looking into Pre-Law Kindergarten.

Who are you?

So this whole full time-student, part-time mother thing has been a challenge.  I've been trying to decide what my summer plan will be, if I should go to school and plow through it or take some time off.  Well, last night I got home from school/work/studying at 8pm and when I walked in the door my girls all ran to me, hugged me and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Um...I live here.  I'm your mom.  You know...that lady who's holding you in your birth photos.

That made my decision for me.  Summer break from school.  I'll still be working but there is very little mental investment required there.  That means I'll have time again to thing about things like my children, my dear patient hubby who puts up with me being gone 100 hours a week, blogging, cooking...I don't know...maybe I'll sleep too.  That hasn't happened in a while, and it won't for three more weeks until this school term is completed.  After I wake up from my three day coma, watch out because I'll be catching up on the last, eh, year. Blog overload.  You've been warned. :)