Well now it's just getting ridiculous. I forgot to be the Tooth Fairy AGAIN! I was about to debunk the whole myth this morning, just to absolve myself of the guilt, but then i realized Heidi hasn't even lost ONE tooth yet and that wouldn't be very fair to her to crap out on tradition, just because I can't remember to follow through with it. (Good reasoning right?) Anyway, Emilia asked if she could write the Tooth Fairy an email this morning. It was the least I could do.
dear toothfaiy why don't you give me dollers my frend's git dollers and why didint you come lastnight what is your name and what do you look like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love emiliaWell, I guess since I'm lying to her anyway about the existence of a Tooth Fairy, I won't give her the straight answers to her questions, otherwise it would read something like this...
Dear Emilia,
I don't give you dollars even if your friends get dollars because I'm already paying for the care and maintenance of your teeth. YOU should be giving ME dollars. I didn't come last night because I am so ridiculously busy with being a wife, mom, student, employee that remembering to switch out a tooth for a quarter is about #796 on my list of things to do. My name is Mom and I look like a very tired mid thirties woman with brown hair. Magical, isn't it?
Love,
The Tooth Fairy aka: your Mother who has been lying to you for the first eight years of your existence
